There’s a kind of spending nobody really talks about.
It’s not the flashy stuff—the car, the house, the vacation designed to make your friends and neighbors jealous. This is quieter. Sneakier. And way more common than you think.
It’s the purchase you make to convince yourself you’re okay.
Not for Them. For You.
Most conversations about overspending focus on external status. Keeping up with the Joneses. Impressing people at a dinner party. Looking successful.
But there’s another version. One that has nothing to do with anyone else. This one is entirely internal. You’re not trying to prove anything to the world. You’re trying to quiet a voice inside your own head.
The Hum
You know the feeling.
You make good money. On paper, you should be totally fine. But something’s… off.
- Maybe your bank balance is consistently lower than it should be—and you have no idea why.
- Maybe you feel disorganized. Money is moving in and out, but you have no real picture of where it’s all going.
- Maybe you just have this low-grade hum of unease. Not full-blown panic. Just… a feeling that something’s not right.
And then you’re scrolling online late at night, and you see it.
Maybe it’s the Movado watch. Or the Canada Goose jacket. Or the AirPods Max. 🎧
A thought flickers across your mind: “If I can afford this, I must be doing okay.”
So you buy one.
The Logic (That Isn’t Logical)
Here’s what’s actually happening underneath the surface:
You feel uncertain about your money. That uncertainty creates anxiety. And instead of addressing the source of the uncertainty—looking at the numbers, organizing your accounts, facing reality—you buy something nice.
The purchase becomes the proof.
Proof that you’re not struggling.
Proof that things are fine.
Proof that you’re the kind of person who can afford a Movado.
Except… it’s not proof. It’s a story. A story you’re telling yourself while the real problem stays unsolved in the background.
The Irony is Crushing
The purchase that makes you feel okay for a moment is often the very thing making the situation worse.
You’re treating the symptom—the anxiety—instead of the cause, which is the disorganization, the avoidance, and the total lack of clarity.
- The watch doesn’t fix your bank balance.
- The nice dinner doesn’t create any margin in your budget.
- The new jacket doesn’t organize your finances.
You feel better for a moment. Maybe a day. Maybe even a week. But then the hum returns. Because nothing underneath has actually changed.
The Cycle
It’s a vicious loop:
Anxiety → Purchase → Temporary relief → Less money in the bank → More anxiety → Another purchase
Rinse. Repeat. 🔁
It’s a hamster wheel fueled by fear and funded by the very money that could be solving the problem. And the worst part? A piece of you knows it’s not working. But the relief, however temporary, is hard to give up.
I Know This One Personally
I’m not writing this from some high-and-mighty perch.
I did this for years. I bought things I didn’t need to feel like I was okay when I wasn’t sure I was. The purchase was never about the item. It was about the exhale. That brief moment of, “See? You’re fine.”
But I wasn’t fine. I was avoiding. A lie I told myself, one transaction at a time.
So if this sounds familiar, I’m not judging. I’m just naming something I wish someone had named for me years ago.
The Real Problem
Financial signaling to yourself is a symptom of one core issue:
You don’t actually know where you stand.
If you knew—really knew—that you were okay, you wouldn’t need the watch to prove it. If you had clarity on your numbers, confidence in your system, and peace with your money… the Movado wouldn’t call to you in the same way.
The anxiety doesn’t come from not having enough. It comes from not knowing.
The Cure
Real, lasting security doesn’t come from what you buy. It comes from what you know.
Not hoping. Not assuming. Not “I think we’re fine.”
Knowing.
When you know your numbers, the hum goes quiet. When you know where your money is going, the anxiety has nothing to attach itself to. When you have a system that works, you don’t need a purchase to prove you’re okay.
The knowledge itself is the power.
Clarity is the cure. Not the purchase.
The Reframe
Next time you feel that pull—that urge to buy something that whispers, “You can afford this, you’re fine”—just pause.
Ask yourself:
- Am I buying this because I truly want it? Or because I need to believe something about myself right now?
- What am I actually trying to quiet?
- What would happen if I looked at my accounts instead of my shopping cart?
The answer might be uncomfortable. But it’s cheaper than the watch. And it lasts a whole lot longer.
The Real Permission
You don’t need a new purchase to feel okay.
You need a relationship with your money that doesn’t require constant, expensive proof.
You need clarity.
Stop buying reassurance. Start building clarity.
That’s the only purchase that pays you back.
Avraham
Your Financial Coach
P.S. — If you recognized yourself in this article, you’re not alone. Let’s find out what’s actually going on. Book a free session and trade the hum for some clarity.
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