Stop ‘Shoulding’ On Your Budget

STOP “SHOULDING” ALL OVER YOUR BUDGET 💥

You say you want to stick to a budget, invest like WARREN BUFFETT, and actually know where your money’s going each month.

But where do you start when willpower keeps ghosting you, and your “aspirational” budget spreadsheet is gathering more digital dust than your old treadmill?

Let’s break it all down: because FINANCIAL CONTROL ONLY HAPPENS WHEN YOU KNOW WHAT’S TRULY DRIVING YOU.

Why Core Values Matter for Your Wallet

Core values aren’t the motivational quotes you stick on your fridge and promptly ignore by Tuesday.

They’re the NON-NEGOTIABLES—the stuff you actually live for. In money talk? These are the reasons your “fun” fund always survives but that “I’ll start packing lunch” idea flames out by Friday. 🎉

CORE VALUES DRIVE YOUR FINANCIAL DECISIONS.
When you spend, save, or splurge in line with what MATTERS MOST, it feels right. No guilt, minimal stress, and your body does a little “ahhh” inside. This isn’t woo-woo. It’s real. Try it with your next purchase.

Aspiration Nation (aka, The Budget Mirage) 🌈

Let’s talk aspirations: dreaming of ZERO DEBT, six months’ emergency savings, flawless apps to track every latte. OH YES, GOALS! But unless these are anchored in your core values, they’re as sturdy as a house of credit card receipts.

Aspiration-based budgets are all hype, no traction:

You plan to cut back, but one rough day and your finger hits “Add to Cart” like it’s a lifeline 🛒.
You tell yourself, “Regular people meal prep, right?” then binge Uber Eats after one soggy salad 😅.
You hope this time it’ll stick… but it never does, and that “SHOULD” starts to STING.

WHY? Because when ASPIRATIONS and CORE VALUES don’t match, your money goals become a never-ending uphill slog—plus, you resent every second.

The Money Gut-Check: Core or Aspo? 🧐

Here’s how to find out if your budget (or any financial change) actually fits:

CRISIS SPENDING:
When your day explodes, which budget lines survive?
Fun with friends? Giving to charity? If you only keep what LIGHTS YOU UP, that’s your value, not your “should.” 🔥
FINANCIAL JOY:
When do you feel awesome about spending or saving?
CORE: Happy while doing it.
ASPO: Quick buzz when you hit a savings goal, then… old urge creeps back.
STORYTIME:
Which money stories do you tell?
CORE: “I always find a way to travel, even broke.”
ASPO: “One day, I’ll stop blowing my budget at Target (lol).”
CHILDHOOD CACHE:
Did you hoard comic books or save up for a skateboard as a kid?
Core values show up early—maybe you’ve always prioritized FREEDOM, or helping others, or tasty snacks. 🚲🍕
THE GUILT TEST:
Skip your real value? DEEP REGRET (“Why did I cancel that visit home to save $50?”).
Miss an aspiration? A shrug and, “Well, I can always try again next month.” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

When Aspirations Hijack Your Financial Life

Brace yourself: This is where most budgets die.

Going after someone else’s idea of money success—because it looks good—but ultimately doesn’t match your values.

WHAT HAPPENS:

Every bill paid feels like a minor tragedy; every saving effort is a grind.
Setbacks? You give up fast (“Why keep trying, anyway?”).
Even when you “win”—like finally maxing out your retirement savings—the joy is GONE in a flash.
You wind up annoyed at yourself and whoever sold you on this financial fantasy.

Example:
Say you chase FIRE (financial independence, retire early) because social media says it’s the dream. But your real core value is CONNECTION—being with friends and family, even if it means spending more now.

You might hit FIRE, but end up lonely, bored, and rich in regrets. 🏝️💸 See how that works?

When Aspirations Aren’t Attached to Core Values: The Disconnect ⚡

This is where most people get stuck—pursuing goals that LOOK GOOD but FEEL EMPTY.

The Energy Drain Pattern:

Requires CONSTANT WILLPOWER (exhausting).
Feels like PUSHING A BOULDER UPHILL.
Success feels HOLLOW (“I achieved it… now what?”).
Abandoned at first obstacle.
Creates RESENTMENT (“Why do I have to do this?”).

Example:
Someone pursues a law degree because parents expect it (aspiration), but their core value is creative expression. They might succeed but feel DEAD INSIDE.

Real Change: Budget Like It’s Your Life (Because It Is) 🚀

So, how do you actually change your financial behavior for good?
TIE. EVERYTHING. TO. YOUR. CORE. VALUES.

HERE’S THE GAME PLAN: 📝

NAME YOUR TOP VALUES:
Is it FREEDOM, CREATIVITY, STABILITY, GENEROSITY, JOY? These are the heart of your budget—not the details.
EDIT FOR ALIGNMENT:
Which expenses match? Which totally don’t? Get BRUTAL—keep what “SPARKS VALUE,” ditch what’s just an expensive “SHOULD.” ✂️✨
BUILD RULES YOU’LL FOLLOW:
Value freedom? Set aside $$ for ADVENTURE, not just retirement accounts.
Prioritize generosity? Make GIVING a line item.
GIVE YOUR ASPO ITS PLACE:
Aspirations can be awesome! Use them to stretch, try new things, or add spice. But if they don’t align? Don’t guilt yourself when they fade. 🧂
CHECK IN WITH YOUR BODY:
Every time you adjust your spending or saving, trust the RELIEF/ENERGY TEST.
Does this new habit feel TRUE to you, or just another box to check?

THE TAKEAWAY:
If your financial changes keep falling flat, STOP BLAMING LACK OF DISCIPLINE. Start with understanding yourself—your REAL drivers.

Make your budget a LOVE LETTER to your core values. Aspirations can ride shotgun, but LET YOUR VALUES DRIVE THE CAR. 🚗💨

Now, GO MAKE THOSE MONEY MOVES—CONFETTI OPTIONAL, CLARITY REQUIRED. 💸✨

Avraham
Your Financial Coach

PS: Wow, that was a doozie. If you made it to the bottom, mazel tov! 🎉 You win a free one-on-one Zoom session with me. Book your call here!