I was fifteen. Riding shotgun in a Chevy Astro. Pitch-black back roads. No streetlights. And the gas tank? Empty light on. Somewhere between ‘we might make it’ and ‘we’re going to die out here.’
Danny was driving — my cousin’s cousin. Eighteen. Built like a linebacker. This was my first big trip without Mom. Two weeks of relentless begging before she finally said yes.
Wasaga Beach. Freedom.
Except I spent half the trip staring at the fuel gauge.
At one point, we were scraping together coins. Just enough to keep going. The needle taunted us the whole way.
We made it. Barely.
When I got home, I noticed something I’d never paid attention to before:
My mom’s tank was full.
It was always full.
She never let it drop below half.
Forty-plus years as a flight attendant. Emergency drills weren’t just something she knew — they were drilled into her.
“If there’s a crisis, you need fuel. Don’t wait for the empty light.”
Half tank to full tank. Always. Just in case.
Fast forward ten years — August 14, 2003. I was 25. And Mom’s lesson was about to pay off.
The lights went out…
Fifty million people lost power that day. Detroit. New York. My neighborhood in Toronto.
Gas pumps stopped working. You couldn’t fill up if you wanted to.
I watched people abandon their cars at gas stations. Engines dead. Pumps useless. Nowhere to go.
I had a full tank. 🚗
I drove home. Calm. Ready. Just like Mom taught me.
Here’s the thing no one talks about:
There’s a difference between having a full tank because you’re prepared and needing a full tank because you’re terrified.
One is grounded. The other is running.
My mom wasn’t scared. She was ready. Big difference.
I see both in my clients.
Some build reserves because they’re grounded. They save. They prepare. They sleep well. When opportunity knocks, they’re ready to move. The money is there to serve them — not to quiet something inside them.
And then there are the others.
The ones who save and save and still don’t feel safe. Who hit a number they thought would bring peace — and immediately move the goalpost. Who lie awake at night, not because they don’t have enough, but because they’re terrified that no amount will ever be enough.
For them, the tank is never full. The fear just scales with the balance.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
You can’t fill a hole that isn’t really about money.
If the fear underneath is about safety, or worthiness, or proving something to someone who isn’t even watching anymore — no number fixes that. You just get richer and more afraid.
But if you can name what’s actually driving the need? Something shifts.
You stop running. You start choosing.
And the tank — whatever size it is — finally feels like enough.
Not sure which one you are?
Let’s find out.
Avraham
Your Financial Coach
P.S. That Wasaga trip? There’s another story involving a gang we accidentally cut off, and a moment I’m still not sure how we survived. But that’s a blog for another day. 🚗
Comments are closed.