Kari’s clutch blew out on the way to Colorado.
It was 2017. Starting over. Moving to a new state. And somewhere on the highway, her Subaru gave up.
She burned through her savings to fix it. Then a boyfriend talked her into living way beyond their means — and funding his business venture.
(She got rid of him eventually.)
By the time she reached out to me, she was carrying almost $20K in high-interest credit card debt.
THE YO-YO
Kari had been on the debt yo-yo for years. Overspend. Feel bad. Pay it off. Repeat.
She told me: “The years of living with credit card debt that had accumulated was making me feel like a bad person — like I wasn’t to be trusted with money.”
She thought she needed to “atone” for the debt. Like she had to earn her way out through hard-work-grind.
ONE CONVERSATION
Last November, Kari booked a free call.
She thought she was calling to ask what to do with some money from a real estate sale — a joint venture spec home build with her parents.
But that’s not what we talked about.
She was afraid there would be strings attached. Expectations. Family pressure.
And underneath it all — shame. About the debt. About needing help. About not having it figured out.
THE PIVOT
Here’s what I’ve learned in 15 years:
A pivot isn’t a total reinvention. It’s not burning your life down and starting over. It’s not a twelve-step plan.
A pivot is a turn. A small shift. Sometimes it’s one question.
Kari had spent the last year or two working hard to manage expenses. Paying down debt. Not accumulating more. She’d already proven she could do it.
She just didn’t see it yet.
I didn’t tell her what to do.
I asked her one question: “How does it feel to say ‘I can be trusted with money’?”
Something clicked. For the first time, she believed it.
That was the pivot.
She told me: “I decided that the most responsible thing to do for my loved ones was to get rid of the debt so we could start building wealth. It wasn’t just about me — it was about what was best for the situation.”
THE SECRET
Kari paid off the credit card debt.
She never told her parents.
She and her husband found a house they could afford — without any family help. They made an offer a few weeks later. They did most of the renovations themselves. They just moved in.
Her parents are “ignorant of the whole credit-card-debt thing and very happy to see us move forward with our lives.”
Her words: “I decided it was none of their business.” 😊
THE CASCADE
Since that one conversation:
- She took control of her finances — her decision, not her family’s
- She paid off almost $20K in credit card debt
- Her credit soared
- She found a health cost-share program that actually works for her family
- She and her husband bought a house — without family help
- They cut up the credit cards (except one she uses for travel)
- Next up: a retirement account
One question. One pivot. One cascade.
THE FREEDOM
I asked Kari how things have changed with her husband.
She said: “It feels nice to be able to make decisions together and do fun things without everything coming back to ‘but we should have put that toward the credit cards…'”
That’s the freedom.
Not just the number on the statement. The mental weight lifted. The options opening up. The future feeling possible.
WHAT I KNOW
Most people think change requires a massive overhaul. A complete reinvention. A rock-bottom moment.
It doesn’t.
Sometimes it’s one question. One turn. One pivot.
She had the answer the whole time. She just needed someone to ask the question.
Avraham
Your Financial Coach
P.S. Kari told me she wanted to share her story in case it helps someone else. Kari — thank you. Look at you go. 🏠
Comments are closed.